


Unfinished Sentences

by marchtwentyfour



Category: GOT7
Genre: Best Friends, Gen, Insecurity, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 10:34:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5087392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marchtwentyfour/pseuds/marchtwentyfour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Im Jaebum decided he has had enough of Mark Tuan, he let the other fall. Mark wasn’t broken, but is chipped. Some parts of himself had been damaged and some parts of himself was left to the floor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfinished Sentences

**Author's Note:**

> Un-beta'd.

Someone said that love hurts, that the pain you’ll feel when the person you dedicated your life and love to had stopped returning yours won’t compare to anything else in the world. They said you’ll cry a lot and there’ll be an ache in your chest that just won’t leave no matter what you do. They also said you’ll mourn the memories and the love spent, turning away whenever you see anything that will remind you of them.

What  _ they  _ didn’t say was that those things, all the pain and tears and mourning doesn’t just apply to losing a lover. In fact, Mark Tuan could testify that losing your best friend hurts ten times worse the pain in losing his girlfriend who cheated on him.

“ Hyung,” the door of his room opened and there was Bambam, looking guilty as he poked his head in. “Dinner is ready. The others are already eating so you might want to come before they finish it all up?”

But Mark could only smile sadly as if it was hardest thing to do. Knowingly, Bambam nodded at him before closing the door and going back down.

It was only when he heard Bambam take the 12th step that Mark finally laid his head low, forcing the tears not to come out. He didn’t want to cry because crying meant remembering how Im Jaebum was the one who used wipe the tears from his eyes.

Now,  _ now  _ Im Jaebum was the reason and Mark had no idea what to do.

 

Bambam had come knocking on his just a minute ago, a plate of eggs and bacon on his hand. They were still hot and Mark could guess that the boy had saved it for him before the others could get their clammy hands on it.

The boy had told Mark to eat and to please get out of the room, but he had gotten no answer other than a tilt of head and a single blink. To say Bambam was displeased would be an understatement.

Mark didn’t want to eat, but he hasn’t eaten anything solid for the past 46 hours that his stomach was complaining. He took a look at the tempting plate just right in front him. Sighing, he gave in to his needs and picked up the fork to start eating.

 

Sleep had become hard to come by, he would only lie down on his bed and close his eyes but never sleep. He would let his mind wonder and his brain examine every single detail and every single memory.

_ What did I do wrong _ ?

Throughout the night he would search for the answer, nitpicking at every conversation and analyzing every single movement. He tried to recall the conversations and summon the energy to remember how the other had looked.

__ Did Jaebum get too tired of him?  
__ Did he hate how much Mark was too quiet?  
__ Was he disappointed whenever Mark would turn down an invitation to go out?  
_ Did Mark tease him too much? Pushed him being the hyung on the younger boy too much?  
_ __ Did Mark cross a line he didn’t knew existed?

Mark has no idea that he ends up exhausting himself, but not enough to fall asleep. Because he would soon hear Youngjae barking from the other room, obviously playing with their dog Coco. This mean it’s already 6AM and Mark hasn’t slept a wink.

  
  


_ Betrayal. _

Mark has been trying to find out which word was the best description of how he had felt. He kept on thinking and thinking, various words popping in his head because  _ sadness  _ or  _ anger  _ doesn’t explain it thoroughly.

Youngjae had knocked on his door to remind him that he was dog sitting Coco while the three of them attend a club meeting that Mark wasn’t part of. He nodded and grabbed his phone before leaving his room, down the stairs and in the living room where the three of them were crowding around Coco.

“ Let her go and leave.” Mark said softly, his voice a bit hoarse from not using it for days. He looked like shit, he knew that by the worried looks on their faces. He step to the left and waved towards the door. “Go on.”

“ There’s food in the refrigerator if you want it, hyung.” Bambam tells him, the first to walk by him. Youngjae followed him, patting Coco’s head before leaving.

Yugyeom was last and he gave this  _ look  _ at Mark’s face. “You’re lucky we live in a world where male wearing makeup is okay or else you won’t be able to hide how your face aged 50 years, hyung.”

Before Mark could react, Yugyeom had already walked past him and was out the door in seconds.

Sighing, he sat beside Coco on the couch then placed her on his lap as he moved to lie down with his feet dangling by the end. He patted her hair, running his fingers down the dog’s body. It was calming and soothing, as if his whole life didn’t just crash.

“ _ I’m sorry, Mark. But I chose to go because… You know why.” _

Mark shook his head and ignored the flash of pain in his chest. He had lost one of the most important person in his life and he’s not okay, but he  _ will  _ be.

 

  
When Mark opened the other side of his drawer, his breathing stopped for a second before pain replaced it. He had almost forgotten, in his mourning, that Jaebum kept his clothes there because his ex-best friend had loads and the one in his room was smaller compared to the one in Mark’s.

Mark didn’t use to mind that Jaebum had used his room for safe-keeping of his clothes, but he did now and he hated it. So he grabbed a box from their storage room and immediately threw everything inside, not even caring that they were getting messy.

Jaebum didn’t come to Mark’s room ever since the day he told them that he was leaving. Jaebum happily told everyone the news and everyone else was ecstatic, all except Mark who felt like he was drowning in the why’s and how could you’s.

With every article of clothing that Mark threw in the box, he was relieving the obvious flash of jealousy and betrayal that Jaebum’s words gave him. So he threw them in as hard as he could, hoping this would release some of the anger being bottled inside him.

 

Yugyeom had almost fallen off the stairs when he didn’t see the box laid in front of Mark’s door. Frowning, he opened it and realized whose it was. Smiling, he kicked the box off the stairs and followed with his feet.

His Mark hyung is finally moving on.

 

Mark wasn’t the same, it was obvious to his three housemates. He was still the quiet Mark hyung, that’s nothing new. But there was a caution in his eyes, with how he flinches at even a slight mention of Jaebum. 

He had stopped coming to their club, the club he shared with Jaebum, because he didn’t want to be asked  _ How is Jaebum? He looks like he’s doing so well! Have you seen his photos?  _ Because no, he doesn’t know how Jaebum is and he hasn’t seen the photos because he blocked the other boy.

But the most obvious change, most probably, is that Mark always comes whenever one of them invites him. Bambam wants Mark to buy him ice cream? Sure. Youngjae wants Mark to baby sit Coco? No problem. Yugyeom needs Mark to come with him somewhere? Sure.

It was, as if Mark was afraid they were going to leave him, too.

  
  


“Do you think hyung will be fine?” Bambam asked quietly to the other two when Mark left the room to get more popcorn. He was looking at where Mark went, but even if he didn’t, the other two knew what he meant.

“ Hopefully.” Youngjae answers.

Yugyeom wasn’t able to give his piece because Mark came back with a huge grin and even bigger bowl of popcorn. They all glared at him suspiciously, knowing that Mark’s sometimes playful nature is still in tact.

“ I didn’t put anything, I swear!” Mark complained, handing them the bowl as he slid into his seat. He popped open the can of rootbeer as he watched the three of them tentatively taste the popcorn.

It didn’t even last a few seconds before the three of them pelleted him with the popcorn. He was laughing hard as they ran towards the kitchen to grab water. Mark had dumped their chili powder instead of cheese so you can guess what the three had tasted (perks when the chili powder is almost the same color as the cheese powder).

“ You’re mean, hyung.” Bambam finally announced when he had drank enough water to cleanse his tongue.

Mark, who was still laughing, suddenly stopped and looked sadly at him. “You’re right. I am.” he stood up and patted Bambam’s shoulders, “I’m sorry.”

As soon as he was gone, Yugyeom and Youngjae both hit Bambam’s shoulder causing him to almost topple over and fall face flat to the floor. He groaned, but received no sympathy from both his friends.

“ Way to go, man.” Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

Mark wasn’t necessarily broken, at least not really. Not in the whole sense of the word.

Mark Tuan and Im Jaebum weren’t exactly one. They were more of two parts of a whole, they hold each other up and keep each other complete. They relied on each other to make sure one of them wouldn’t fall, to hold them upright and keep them safe.

When Im Jaebum decided he has had enough of Mark Tuan, he let the other fall. Mark wasn’t broken, but is chipped. Some parts of himself had been damaged and some parts of himself was left to the floor.

Mark was still, in some sense,  _ whole  _ but he had lost some parts and pieces of who he was. He will never be the same.

  
  


Six months after Jaebum had left, Mark met Jackson Wang. He was a transferee from Hong Kong, but speaks English as well. Mark, who had grown up speaking English, was immediately pushed by his friends to talk to the new kid.

Mark doesn’t  _ know  _ how to talk to a new kid. He kept on fretting and sweating as he licked and bit his lips over and over. But, it turns out, he didn’t need to worry because the new kid greeted him with ease and proceeded to ask him tons of question.

“ Your name is Mark, right? Mark Tuan? Are you Chinese?” The boy immediately asked when Mark introduced himself.

“ Taiw--” he was about to answer, but was interrupted.

“ Really? I’m from Hong Kong!” The boy easily wrapped an arm around him as if they were long time friends. “My name’s Jackson! But, Mark? Your name is not…?”

Mark sighed, “I grew up in LA--”

Suddenly, the boy, Jackson, spoke in English, “This is so cool! Can I talk to you in English then?”

Soon enough, Jackson had gotten so comfortable around him that he announced that he needs a best friends forever and Mark will be that. When he asked Mark this, Mark literally paused and froze because  _ best friend _ .

Jaebum had always been Mark’s best friend and Mark doesn’t remember  _ how  _ to be a best friend anymore. He thought that after Jaebum’s betrayal, he wouldn’t be called that anyway. His own best friend had chosen someone else and now this boy who barely knows him--

“ Hey, are you alright?” Jackson snapped Mark out of his thoughts and the boy now looks worried. “Did I offend you? I didn’t mean to.”

Mark immediately shook his head, “No! No you didn’t. I was just… surprised.” he tentatively smiled, almost shy and his hands shaking. “I’ll be… honored?”

The smile on Jackson’s face was honest and Mark felt that it was  _ okay _ to do this.

It’s going to be okay, right?

  
  


Mark wasn’t able to sleep that night, tossing and turning on his bed as tried to clear his mind from what happened that day. He had a  _ best friend _ even though you can’t honestly say that’s what they are right now.

Was he ready? Will he be okay? Will they be okay?

_ (Can he replace Im Jaebum?) _

  
  
  


Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom all adored Jackson. Or, technically, they liked how they could include Jackson in their dangerous adventures. With the way they get along, Jackson looks like the closer friend and Mark looks like the outsider.

Sometimes he isn’t sure whether befriending Jackson was a good thing or a bad thing with how many mess the five of them had already ended up on. Although, Mark is probably at fault too, considering that he never did stop them.

“ MARK HYUNG!!!!” Bambam would always call for him the moment that the three of them had already decided what kind of mess they would get in that night.

Mark would sigh and pretend he hated it, but the truth is that he loved it. Not the getting in trouble part, he could with not having any criminal record after all. But he loved the thrill, the adrenaline rush of doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

Tonight they were going to sneak in to watch in a club. Mark was technically the only one allowed in because he was the only legal one, but it was his job to get the other four in.

“ I’m not going to buy you alcoholic drinks.” Mark said firmly then flinched when Jackson wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He knew what that look meant, he knew the boy enough to  _ know  _ that he’s going to be persuaded soon enough. Jackson is just that good in getting what he wants

“ But Mark  _ hyung _ ,” Jackson was already starting and Mark was divided between hitting him or just going for what he wanted. “Midterms starts next week! We need to relax.”

“ If you want to go to a club to relax, we may as well go to a spa. Or a bath house.” Mark suggested because he wasn’t exactly excited at the prospect of going to a club.

“ We’re going there for the music, hyung. There’s a new duo that people are talking about.” Bambam interrupted, obviously the mastermind of the plan. “No one knows who they are, but they’re really good! Or so the people in the Internet say.”

Jackson nodded. “Not particularly interested in them, but I want to see how good are the performers in the clubs here in Korea.”

Mark swallows. He likes hip hop, true. He can’t sing, he’s pretty average in dancing so he tried rapping. He’s not  _ too  _ good, but he’s not horrible at it. Jaebum, on the other hand, had been an amazing singer and an above average dancer. They once dreamed to become a duo, a team, and to perform together.

Is this why Jaebum left? Did Jaebum leave because he couldn’t stand how Mark brings him down? They haven’t won any talent show at school back when he and Jaebum joined them. Mark raps and Jaebum sings, but the judges always says that there’s  _ something  _ missing.

“ Fine, fine. Let’s go.” There were cheers between his four friends as they all grab their jackets and walked outside.

Getting into the club wasn’t hard, everyone besides Bambam looked mature with the numerous eyeliner applied but with a quick and large sum of tip, all five of them got inside. There was only club music blasting so they decided to walk around--together, Mark insisted--because it’ll be boring to just stand at the corner.

“ Can we buy something?” Youngjae piped up, eyeing the bar that they just passed by. All four of them looked at him pleadingly, but he shook his head firmly.

“ Nope.” Mark answered and he saw Jackson opening his mouth, but luckily the music was dropped to a low volume and all five of them, as well as everyone in the club, looked up at the stage.  _ Saved by the performance, Mark Tuan _ .

“ Our first performance for tonight is!” The host, or whoever he was, screamed on the microphone as people cheered, “The newest talent in town, JJ PROJECT!” More screaming and yelling as the music started again and two figure stepped on the stage.

Mark’s breathe hitched the moment he saw them. His eyes stung and his blood ran cold.

“ PLEASE ENJOY!” Both of the figures screamed just before they started.

They were energetic, singing and rapping their music on the stage. They were only two but they took over the stage as if they’ve been doing this for a long time now. Everyone was dancing to the beat and he could see his friends tapping their foot to the rhythm.

Everyone was enraptured by the stage presence from the two person on the stage, all except Mark. In his mind, there was only one name, one thought and one feeling.

_ Im Jaebum. _

_ Mark, you weren’t good enough. _

_ Betrayal. _

Mark looked at his friends and realized that none of them seemed to have noticed who was performing on stage for them. How could they? Jaebum was wearing skinny jeans and leather jacket, completely different from his favorite loose shorts and sweater of The Simpson’s design. He was wearing a beanie, but his hair was obviously dyed.

But Mark recognized him because Mark had spent most of his life with him.

This person standing in front of him, however, wasn’t Mark’s  _ best friend _ Im Jaebum.  _ This  _ Im Jaebum is a half of JJ Project and a musician proud of his music.

And  _ this  _ Mark, Mark Tuan, wasn’t good enough for him.

  
  


If anyone noticed Mark’s sudden change of mood, no one mentioned it.

Jackson was, however, surprised when Mark suddenly looked up from the essay he was writing to look at him. Mark doesn’t necessarily like studying like this, but he also doesn’t like chatting in between. That was the only reason why Jackson hasn’t flunked and didn’t end up playing the whole time.

“ Jackson, you’re joining the talent show this year, right?” Mark asked, biting his lip in nervousness. He wasn’t exactly sure this was the best idea, but he knew that Jackson was the best person for this, if not the  _ only  _ person for this.

Jackson nodded immediately, a smile spread on his lips. “Yeah, hyung! I’m planning to perform a rap song, maybe dance a bit with some flip-flopping.”

It was obvious Jackson had already decided on what he wanted to do and it made Mark nervous because he didn’t really want to impose. Right now, though, the overwhelming feeling is still clogged in his brain and he can’t get rid of it.

“ Uhm,” Mark fiddled with the strings of the hoodie he was wearing.

There was only one way to get rid of it.

“ Do you think you… I… you…?” Mark wants to say the words out, but he’s having difficulty in arranging them into a coherent sentence.

There is only one way for Mark to forgive himself.

Jackson raised an eyebrow at him, obviously curious as hell. “Yes, hyung? What do you want?”

There is only one way to get back at Im Jaebum.

Mark swallowed, hoping that this would help him, “For the talent show, do you think… you can  _ help  _ me join?” when Jackson’s eyes widened he hastily added, “Don’t worry! I’m sure I won’t be better than you! I just! I need to!”

There is only one way to prove Im Jaebum wrong.

But Jackson, however, was already clapping his hand and eyes shining bright. “Oh my gosh, hyung! We can be a team! We can perform together and we’re going to  _ smash  _ that stage! Please, hyung? Perform with me, please?”

Mark didn’t knew he was holding his breath, but when he heard what Jackson had said, he felt the immediate intake of oxygen in his lungs. Relief flooded his brain and he couldn’t help the huge smile that took over his face.

“ Sure, why not?” Mark answered because, really, what else could go wrong? He had already lost a best friend, felt the sting of betrayal and lost a huge chunk of his self-confidence in one song. Mark doesn’t have anything to regret anymore.

The only way, after all, is to prove that Mark Tuan isn’t a lost cause.

  
  


Mark had doubts about Jackson’s helping skills. The boy, after all, likes to prank people with Bambam in tow and make fun of Yugyeom (and the sentiment is returned). He also gets along well with Youngjae, but the boy only shows up during Friday nights which is their Let’s Do Something Nearly Illegal Nights. Youngjae claims he was busy.

Jackson, however, had impressed Mark. He wasn’t the best dancer, but Mark could tell the boy was good with his body. He had strong thigh muscles that Mark is thoroughly jealous of, compared to Jackson he looked like a walking stick,  _ twig  _ even.

“ It doesn’t matter, hyung! That’ll make it easier for you to fly!” Jackson claimed, excited at the idea.

“ Excuse me, but  _ fly _ ?” Mark remembers how he was confused and nervous at the idea. No one really knows what goes on in Jackson’s head so he wasn’t sure if the boy was being literal or not.

It turns out, Jackson was both. He didn’t necessarily meant  _ fly  _ with wings and all that shit, but when Jackson showed him what he was about to learn, it did look like flying.

It felt like flying, too.

Jackson decided that the flips and all that shit (Mark doesn’t really pay attention to what Jackson says, he was busy trying to memorize what to do with his foot) would be the first thing they’ll be learning since that’s his specialty.

“ We have a few more months, hyung. We have all the time in the world.” Jackson assured him when Mark asked why they were taking it slow.

Mark nodded, trying to accept this fact.

“ Plus, Youngjae and Yugyeom agreed to help us with our performance and their exams won’t be done until two weeks from now.” Jackson added with a grin, “Bambam’s, too.”

Ah there it was, the catch. But instead of being annoyed, Mark just laughed. Of course Jackson could get his friends involved in this, a feat he didn’t know how the boy achieved. Probably a promise of food or a bribe, or maybe they want to laugh at Mark’s expense.

(Or,  _ maybe _ , they wanted to help Mark. Just that.)

  
  


Their first meeting for The Markson Team (Bambam’s idea) happened three weeks after Mark mastered the art of “flying” all over the room. He ended up puking 50% of the time, but now he could hold it in well enough. They were all in the living room, the TV turned on but on mute.

“ How about Mark hyung and Jackson pretends they’re a broken couple and--” Bambam was silenced with a pillow thrown to his face, courtesy of Yugyeom. “Hey!”

“ They’ll be rapping, not making a drama.” Yugyeom informed him, as if the boy didn’t know already.

“ I’m being  _ artistic _ .” Bambam sniffed, a little miffed that his genius just got criticized. ‘Plus, I’ll be directing the performance here. You’re just the…  _ choreographer _ .”

Luckily, Yugyeom knew now not to take the bait and just looked at Mark and Jackson. “What did you plan to perform anyway? It would be easy to decide what kind of performance would be good if we know what you want to do.”

Jackson took out his iPod and plugged it to the system. It was an original, written personally by him. Mark had heard it before, but he still listened carefully when the music started blasting from their speakers.

Soon enough, after all the planning from Yugyeom’s ideas for choreography, to Youngjae’s ideas for additional melody and until Bambam’s plans for the whole stage, they were done with a more or less solid concept. That was until they realized Mark never spoke for the past three hours they were trading ideas and barbs.

“ Hey Mark hyung?” It was Youngjae who first noticed, just when Bambam was jotting down the schedule on his phone.

Everyone looked up and Mark just blinked at them.

“ Hyung, what did you think of our concept?” Jackson was the one who asked this time, eyes curious and serious as he looked at him expectantly. “You can tell me. We can still change it if you don’t like it,”

Everyone nodded, putting down the plans they had so carefully thought of for the past three hours. It’s not that Mark didn’t like the ideas, it’s just that he wasn’t sure he could pull it off. Hot? Dyed red hair? It sounds scary even now and he knew that if he did, they would scrap it off and start all over again. He didn’t want to do that, not after all the planning.

“ No, it’s okay.” Mark said, not convincingly enough so he added, “I can do it.”

They didn’t seem sure of his own claim, but no one spoke to question him.

Just. If you’re not comfortable with anything, don’t hesitate to tell me, okay hyung?” Jackson patted his back, “We’re a team, you know?”

_ A team.  _ Mark liked how that sounded.

  
  


Youngjae insisted they had to practice the rapping first. Jackson agreed, of course, seeing as that’s the main point of their performance. Jackson would mainly be Mark’s guide, but Youngjae is there to help with vocalizations and annoying them.

“ Show me what you got, hyung.” Jackson told him, less challenging and more of excited. Mark realized that in the span of more than a month of preparation, he hasn’t let Jackson hear anything from him.

Why did Jackson even agree to this when he had no idea if Mark can  _ even  _ rap?

“ Mark hyung, breathe.” There was a hand rubbing circles on his back, obviously Youngjae. He didn’t even realize he almost hyperventilated at the  _ mere  _ thought of rapping again, he was pathetic. “Just breathe and do it in your own time, hyung. We can wait.”

Jackson immediately nodded in agreement.

The thing is, Mark hasn’t rapped for a year, not even in the showers. Rapping is only a thing he tried to learn so that Jaebum would have one for his performances. Plus, all the raps he knows come from songs he performed with his ex-best friend and he wasn’t sure he can handle his emotions if he do them right now.

“ How about freestyle?” Jackson suggested.

Mark immediately shook his head. “You’d immediately throw me out the window if you hear me freestyle, Jackson.”

For a moment they all just stood there, trying to analyze how this would work out.

  
  


They had to postpone Mark’s sample of his rap and decided that Jackson can show his first. Jackson showed off the whole song, complete with action and partial dance steps. The performance was, in short, amazing.

Mark has no idea how he could even live up to that.

Youngjae told him that he could.

  
  


On their next practice, Mark had prepared a rap. It was short, stolen from one of Epik High’s song titled Map the Soul. It wasn’t amazing, he had to spend 3 hours just memorizing the lyrics so he wouldn’t end up stuttering before he finally moved onto the actual rapping.

“ Hyung, can you--” Yugyeom opened the door to Mark’s room without knocking, effectively surprising him that he ended up falling off the chair with the printed lyrics flying over to where the youngest was standing.

“ Shit.” Mark cursed, not even censoring himself, he was pretty sure Yugyeom  _ knows  _ what that means anyway. “I told you to knock, Yugyeom-ah!”

Yugyeom shrugged, grabbing the piece of paper that Mark dropped. Immediately, Mark made to grab the lyrics, but he was no match for Yugyeom’s reading skills.

“ Epik High?” Yugyeom asked, eyebrow raised as Mark snatched the piece of paper.

“ Need to perform a rap for Jackson and Youngjae so we could practice our song together.” Mark sitting down on his bed instead of the chair. “Trying to memorize the lyrics because I’m going to stutter, I can feel it.”

Yugyeom just stood by the door, looking amused.

“ What?” Mark frowned.

Yugyeom never answered and instead tapped on his phone for a few minutes, letting Mark wonder what the boy was up to. Soon, the familiar beat of Map the Soul blasted from Yugyeom’s phone, but instead of Tablo’s Korean lyrics...“Map the Soul has an official English version, did you know?”

Mark wanted to comment, but he was entranced by the familiarity the English language provided for him. This version was in pure English and the beat of the song to the lyrics didn’t sound off key, this would be  _ easier  _ than trying to memorize the Korean lyrics.

The moment the song finished with  _ I was made to be with you, made to be with you, made to be with you…  _ Mark stood up and engulfed Yugyeom in a bone crushing hug, trapping the boy in his arms.

“ You are heaven sent, Kim Yugyeom.” Mark assured him, letting go of Yugyeom and then grabbing his own phone to search for the song. “This makes my life so much easier. I already suck at rapping, but with the English version they won’t have to suffer my horrible Korean.”

“ Whatever you say, hyung.” Yugyeom bid him goodbye, forgetting that he went there to ask his hyung to help him with dinner. Dinner can wait, he was pretty sure Mark finding his way was more important than food.

Or, really, Yugyeom can get Bambam to help him anyway.

  
  


“THAT WAS REALLY GREAT, HYUNG!” Jackson immediately started clapping the moment that Mark finished. He was standing now, hands enthusiastically clapping in front of him as he stomp his foot a bit.

“ Do you even know what Epik High’s Map the Soul is, Jackson hyung?” Youngjae snorted beside him before addressing the still nervous Mark in front of them. “That was good, hyung. You just need to be more… confident.”

Mark breathed a sigh of relief, he doesn’t know if his friends are just softening him up, but he wasn’t sure he could accept harsh criticisms right now. Smiling a little, he nodded his head. He knew what Youngjae meant, no matter how many times Mark had practiced his performance, he knew he was still shaking earlier.

To Mark, that performance wasn’t just to show Jackson and Youngjae. To him, it was his first performance as just Mark Tuan and not  _ Jaebum with Mark _ .To Mark, it was the start of him--just him. To Mark, this song means a lot more than he lets on.

“ Hey,” Jackson snapped Mark out of his thoughts, a huge grin on his face. “We can do two songs, right?”

Youngjae slowly nodded his head, “Maximum time for each participant is 10 minutes. The song you wrote was at least 4 minutes, or 5 if you count the dance routine that Yugyeom is planning.”

“ Great!” Jackson clapped his hands before turning to Mark, “What do you say, hyung? How about we add this song--what was this called--to our performance? You were great in it and I say we could do better. We should totally do it!”

Mark’s eyes widened. How did Jackson know? How does this boy understand how Mark feels without  _ actually  _ knowing what he was thinking? How could Jackson even  _ know  _ that Mark wants to perform this again, preferably better?  _ How _ ?

With overwhelming feelings, Mark turned to Youngjae. “Will that be okay, Youngjae-ah? Do you think we could do it with just a few months left? I’m not exactly…  _ good _ .”

“ You were just right, hyung!” Youngjae told him, an encouraging smile and a glint in his eyes. “We should totally discuss this with your manager.”

 

By manager, Youngjae meant Bambam. Bambam was ecstatic, already spouting off ideas on how to arrange the performance.

In the end. Bambam though it would be better to start their performance with Map the Soul as just simple and focuses on their rapping more than the presentation. Then the moment that finishes the music would transition to the song that Jackson prepared and to be finished with a powerful dance break courtesy of Yugyeom.

Mark has a lot of doubts, in fact he could probably write a novel regarding it. But with so many things going on he couldn’t dwell on them and he’s actually quite thankful for the distraction.

Things around the shared house was busy as they were engulfed with practice for the performance, working on numerous papers for class and studying for the upcoming Finals. The next three months became a blur of practice rooms, classes and goofing out with his friends.

Everything and everyone was a welcome distraction that by the end of it all, that by the night before the most important performance of all, Mark didn’t feel like his lips would bruise from all the nervous biting or that his knees were going to give up under him. He didn’t even feel like backing out when Bambam locked the two of them inside the bathroom for hours to dye his hair red.

  
  


“Ready for tomorrow, hyung?” Youngjae asked him just as they were going to enter their respective rooms.

Mark didn’t even pause as he gave Youngjae an honest smile. “Jackson and I will  _ smash  _ that contest. Mark my words, Choi Youngjae.” he told him and even though he was a little nervous, it didn’t feel like the world was ending.

Youngjae just laughed, “You will, hyung. You will.” he agreed.

 

“You look great, hyung. Break hearts out there!” Bambam gave Mark two thumbs up the moment he was done styling his hair into place.

Jackson, who just finished putting his cap on, suddenly back hugged Bambam that ended up with them almost toppling over to the floor. “Why only Mark, Bambam? How about me?” he whined, “I look great, right? I’m going to break hearts out there too, right? Right?”

Mark watched amusedly as Bambam tried to pry himself off of Jackson’s tight hug. Yugyeom was laughing at the side as Youngjae cheered on as if a wrestling match was taking place. Soon enough Jackson had to let go because his clothes were getting ruffled too much while Bambam looked red.

“ I hope you break your face out there!” Bambam huffed at Jackson who was still grinning. “Then Mark hyung can win this contest without you.”

Jackson ignored him, choosing to fix his cap again. “How do I look, Mark hyung?” he asked instead, twirling around.

Mark and Jackson decided to go for the theme black and white seeing as Mark was already sporting red hair. So Mark had white shirt on with white jacket but black skinny jeans. Jackson, on the other hand, was wearing a too large baggy black shirt, a black bandana tied to his wrist and black cap but white skinny jeans.

“ Don’t worry Jackson, you’re going to break hearts out there, too.” Mark assured him, patting Jackson’s head to comfort the boy.

Jackson just smiled at him, his face scrunching up unattractively. “Of course, I will.”

Mark laughed. They were going to be fine together, he could tell.

  
  


It turns out, they were  _ better  _ than  _ fine _ .

  
  


“Mark oppa! Jackson oppa! Please take this!” A girl from Mark’s History class came over to give them a container with what seems to be cookies. She was blushing, a feat for a College student like them so it means she must be extremely nervous.

“ WOAH! THANK YOU SO MUCH!” Jackson immediately took the container, clicked it open and popped a cookie inside his mouth in one swift motion. “IT TASTES SO GOOD. Did you bake it yourself, Soomi?”

Soomi, it turns out, nodded immediately. “Yes I did! I hope you like them!”

Mark grabbed the container from Jackson as he smiled at her. “Thank you so much for this. We’ll eat it well!”

“ Please!” She bowed and had to go back to her seat because of the professor came in.

“ The cookies doesn’t taste that good, but I hope she continues baking and become better.” Jackson told Mark, stealing the container to eat another cookie.

Mark grabbed one piece before he brought out his notebook and pen to start taking notes.

“ You’re enjoying your popularity way too much.” Mark told him, but he didn’t meant anything by it. Jackson was really good with his newly acquired fans. He knew he should be, too, but he’s just awkward like that.

“ They’re the sweetest thing in the world, of course I appreciate them.” Jackson assured him.

 

“Why are you late?” Youngjae demanded the moment Mark and Jackson arrived in the house, 30 minutes later than the time they had agreed. He looked like a petulant child that Mark and Jackson couldn’t help but ruffle his hair. “Hey! Hyung! Whyyy?”

Yugyeom and Bambam were both laughing by the couch, legs entangled then shared a yelp when Youngjae threw a pillow that landed on their faces. Groans and complaints was shared before all of them settled down and saw Mark and Jackson with baskets of sweets.

“ From your fans?” Yugyeom asked, eyeing a chocolate bar. Luckily it was in Mark’s basket and the older gave it to him when he noticed. “Thank you, Mark hyung.” He opened the wrapper and immediately shared a piece to Bambam.

“ Gross.” Youngjae made a face, but Yugyeom and Bambam didn’t give him a response. “Anyway, what’s up with the baskets of sweets, hyung?”

“ Our fans gave them to us!” Jackson waved a printed photo with him on it, taken during the talent competition wherein they bagged the champion title. “Don’t I just look good?”

Bambam snorted. “I think Mark hyung looked better.”

“ Yeah. He looked really good doing the cart wheel on stage. Even the girls behind me said so.” Yugyeom readily agreed.

Jackson turned to Mark and eyed him from head to toe. “Yeah, Mark hyung really does look nice. We can use this to promote our next gig.” he looked thoughtful.

“ Next  _ gig _ ?” Youngjae asked, looking at the both of them.

“ We got an offer to perform for the Winter Dance so we agreed. We’ll get free entrance and even get paid a small amount. It’s a win-win situation.” Mark answered because Jackson was already giggling in pride at getting an offer.

“ That’s great news!”

“ Way to go, hyung!”

“ Any plans on what you’re going to perform?”

The next 2 hours was spent planning on the performance itself. They threw in ideas after ideas, until they finally decided on 5 songs enough to fill in for the 30 minute set they were given. Promises to help were given and even an idea that Yugyeom, Youngjae and Bambam should perform at least 1 song with them.

“ Mark hyung and I can share a rap line!” Bambam enthusiastically announced.

Mark was honestly overwhelmed with feelings as he realized that he was  _ part  _ of this.

“ We need a new routine for Mark and Jackson hyung to do.” Yugyeom added.

Mark could feel the overlapping emotions inside him, threatening to burst out.

“ We can do one with all of us in it!” Youngjae agreed.

But for some reason, these emotions and feelings doesn’t hurt. Not at all.

  
  


After the Winter Dance was the Christmas Party for their University. Then after that was the New Year Festival during January. Then the Chinese New Year Special for February as well as for two Valentine’s Day parties. March was a little busy with numerous exams, but they had one special performance for an opening of a game. April was a blur of numerous party invites as they perform a song or two, but nothing permanent.

 

Mark wouldn’t exactly call themselves famous or popular (Jackson does, though), but they weren’t exactly nobodies in campus now. Girls follow them around because of crushes while boys talk to them because of questions on music or on the latest trick they just made.

For some reason, Mark isn’t  _ that  _ shy anymore.

True, he sometimes still shy away from girls that tend to be too aggressive, but now he sometimes throws a wink or even talk to them. He still feels awkward answering questions, but he’s learned to share a conversation no matter how short it is.

And with his friends? With Jackson nagging 24/7 to go out, with Youngjae always clinging to his arm, with Bambam pestering him to practice and with Yugyeom teaching them new choreographies, Mark doesn’t feel like he isn’t enough.

“ You’re the best, hyung.” Jackson would always remind him every time they finish a performance, as if the boy knew exactly what Mark needed to hear.

At first it was a reminder, something Mark holds onto so that he doesn’t go astray. Those words used to bring him comfort, used to make him feel better about himself. Soon enough, those words stopped being a reminder and started becoming a praise.

Mark feels the adrenaline rush to his head the moment he finished his twirl for their newest song--a Wang Jackson Original. He could feel the blood thrumming in his veins at the vibration of the music in his ears. There’s something in his chest, probably pride, as he watched the hundreds of people on their feet and clapping for them.

Mark Tuan didn’t need to prove himself anymore. There was no doubt in anyone else’s mind, especially his, that he was not a lost cause.

 

“Thank you so much! We love all of you!” Jackson yells to the microphone before taking a deep bow.

“ Enjoy the rest of your night!” Mark adds, then winks at the ladies in front.

Mark Tuan has succeeded.

  
  


“ MARK HYUNG! STOP ITTTT.” Youngjae wailed as Mark proceeded to slobber kisses all over his face. “STOP IT! I SWEAR!” screeches, “NOT FUNNY,  _ HYUNG _ .” more wailing, “LET ME GO, HYUNG! I SURRENDER!”

Mark finally let go of his headlock on Youngjae, wiping his lips with the back of his hands as he laughed open mouthed. Yugyeom and Bambam watched amusedly as Youngjae tried to rub his cheeks with his shirt, groaning as he does so. Jackson was too busy eating ice cream to care.

“ You are such a horrible hyung!” Youngjae announced, his cheeks red from being rubbed raw. No one was actually feeling sorry for him though, as Mark leaned over and tried to ruffle his hair. “No! You’re not allowed to touch my hair anymore, hyung!”

“ That’s not a nice thing to say to your hyung, Youngjae-ah.” Mark looked like the perfect image of an innocent hyung, eyes brimming with hurt and lips curled to a pout. No one in their group of friends gets fooled anymore, though.

“ Give it up, Mark hyung.” Jackson finally says, eyes suddenly bright and excited. “We have more important things to do!”

At this, everyone just looked at him expectantly. They’ve learned to just wait for Jackson to say what he wanted to say rather than guess. When no one reacted, Jackson finally revealed his big announcement anyway.

“ WE HAVE TRANSFEREES!” Jackson announces, hands spread out and mouth open with a huge grin. When no one spoke again, he closed his mouth and shook his hands in front of them. “WHY IS NO ONE EXCITED?”

Mark sighed, “We get transferees every semester. What’s new?”

This seemed to be the reaction that Jackson was waiting for because he suddenly puffed his chest and said, “That, my friends, is where you’re all wrong. It’s not just something normal. This is big, This is  _ huge _ \--” cue screaming fangirls and Jackson looked even more smug, “There they are.”

All of them turned to the direction of the voices and saw a small number of people crowding over what seemed to be two guys. They were trying to get past the mob, but to no avail. None of them have the power of Wang Jackson when it comes to charming people off.

Mark almost took pity.  _ Almost.  _ Until he saw who they were.

“ Is that…” Yugyeom was the one who spoke first, eyes wide.

“ I… think… so?” Bambam sounded confused.

Mark turned to look at his friends who were all looking at him now, except Jackson who had no idea. He just shook his head at them, hoping that would make them understand that he didn’t really  _ want  _ to deal with this.

Or at all, really.

“ THERE THEY ARE!” Jackson immediately hopped off the bench they were sitting on to run over to where the two boys had finally shrugged off their fans. They almost stepped back from Jackson, but were too polite to do so.

Mark doesn’t hear what they were saying, but he does see the way that Jackson waves to where they were all sitting. None of them moved a muscle, Mark could tell, when Im Jaebum looked over and saw them all. If he recognized them, Jaebum didn’t give a sign and just simply smiled at Jackson.

Jaebum’s friend, however, nodded enthusiastically at Jackson’s words and seemed to had Jaebum agree to whatever Jackson was saying. Soon, Mark saw the three of them moving to where they were all sitting. Everyone was holding their breathe and Mark  _ hated  _ it.

“ Guys, this is Park Jinyoung and Im Jaebum! They’re--”

“ They know me.” Jaebum interrupted, eyes crinkled in amusement at the frozen look he most likely received from all of them.

Jackson looked at him confusedly. “Huh?”

“ We **_used_ ** to be friends.” Jaebum told him and didn’t notice the way Mark’s fingers flexed, almost as if he wanted to hit him. “But, hello everyone! I’m JJ Project’s JB.”

Jaebum’s friend beamed them a smile as well, “And I’m JJ Project’s Junior. I don’t care if you call me Jinyoung or Junior, it doesn’t matter.”

“ Nice to meet you, Jinyoung-ssi.” Mark immediately reached out and shook Jinyoung’s hand, everyone else following. Then they all turned to Jaebum who was just smiling at them all.

“ Is there an awkward air around us or is it just me?” Jackson finally asked, looking extremely confused. Mark took pity on him for a second until he realized this meeting was all Jackson’s fault.

“ Definitely just you, man.” Mark spoke, standing up and patting Yugyeom’s leg twice. “Come on, Yugyeom. We need to finish that routine for next week. Nice to meet you, Jinyoung-ssi.” he bowed to the two of them, but didn’t acknowledge Jaebum anymore.

“ We’re going. We booked the gym today so we have to show up.” Yugyeom bowed as well, following Mark’s foot steps.

Soon they were out of view, Mark stopped walking and leaned over the wall. Yugyeom just looked worriedly at him, not really knowing what to say. No one warned him about this, told him what to do when this happened.

“ Are you… okay, hyung?” Yugyeom just ended up asking, not really knowing what else to say given the circumstances.

Mark nodded his head, “Yeah. Just. Bad memories, you know?” he looked up and gave Yugyeom a heart-stopping smile that would’ve melted every girls’ hearts. “I’ll get better.”

Yugyeom immediately shook his head, “You are already the best, hyung!” he protested. It was the truth and Yugyeom will stick to it. Mark was not perfect, not at all, but he was the best hyung Yugyeom could ask for.

Mark didn’t comment, instead pushed himself off the wall. “Come on, we really should practice that routine. I need to make sure my landing is perfect or else Jackson will shit himself with worry.”

Yugyeom snorted, knowing it was the truth.

 

And as Jaebum and Jinyoung, or more commonly known as JB and Junior now, became a quick part of their small group, Mark wonders what will happen to him. But as fate has it, no story ever has proper endings and that is why

 


End file.
